“He’s going to the Olympics, you know.”
The smell of chlorine burned my eyes as I watched her son walk along the edge of the indoor pool. He certainly looked like he could be a pro swimmer one day – lean and sleek.
“Really? That’s incredible!” I replied.
I welcomed the distraction of conversation while wrestling with regret over my terrible wardrobe choice to wear a sweatshirt to the most humid pool on the planet. The mom next to me continued sharing her son’s swimming accomplishments.
“Yeah, we just have to get him competing on the high school team. He just needs to work on his speed. Mark my words. He’ll be in the Olympics.”
My 15-year-old son was taking lessons alongside her son, but he had a very different motivation.
In an epic parenting move, I had lovingly shared my humble opinion with my teenager that video games DO NOT count as exercise. I generously “allowed” him to choose a winter “activity” – one that actually worked his real-life body (without a screen).
He protested, then saw I wasn’t kidding and finally agreed to “do swimming.” Probably because it alleviated the troublesome “problem” of gravity. (And he loves to swim.)
Snow flurries danced outside the foggy glass walls encasing the pool, while the boys descended into the water for their first advanced lesson. My new mom-friend detailed her son’s workout schedule and the long saga of all the coaches that just don’t believe in him.
I listened and watched.
I tried not to notice that my video-gaming son, who stopped taking swim lessons about 8 years ago and genuinely feels that the word “cardio” should be added to the list of words we do not speak, easily outpaced the other boy.
When they finished their starter laps, the instructor asked the boy why he was breathing incorrectly. She explained that his incorrect breathing was slowing him down.
Panting heavily, the Olympic hopeful didn’t answer her question. He shot back something I’ll never forget:
“But, I’m better than I used to be. I’m making progress.”
“That’s right!” his mom piped up. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re making great progress!”
Week after week, the boy got into the pool and talked about his progress. At his last lesson, he still couldn’t make it past the half-way mark of the pool without stopping, gasping for breath.
Yikes.
Now, I’m not disparaging this boy or his mom’s dreams of Olympic magnitude.
I honestly believe that we can do incredible things – against all odds – when we work hard and persevere toward our dreams.
I fully support celebrating our “wins” and sometimes that means finding one good thing in a pool full of struggle.
If your aim is to grow as a person, to learn to enjoy the journey, progress “in general” and the ability to see the positive as you grow is a gift.
But, if you’re working toward a specific outcome, like competing in the Olympics, you’ll need more specific “progress” – such as learning to breathe like an athlete – to move toward that specific outcome.
General progress by itself usually won’t take you to a specific outcome.
Honestly, we all do this. Maybe it’s:
- Spending excess time working on administrative tasks… instead of making the sales we need to grow our business
- Taking courses or reading books about something we want to do… instead of actually doing it
- Spending inordinate amounts of time “learning” and “re-learning” the basics…instead of pushing ourselves to DO what we know needs to be done
We can convince ourselves that all activity is progress toward our dream. But, believing that doesn’t make it true.
Here are a few tips we can learn from my sweaty winter mornings by the pool:
- Measure Progress in Alignment with Your Dream. Focus your effort on action that will help you work toward your specific dream. If you want to compete in the Olympics, you’ll need to learn how to compete like an athlete. On the other hand, if your dream is to do a little exercise to get your mom off your back so you can go back to playing video games, recreational lessons at the local gym is probably sufficient.
- Be coachable. There are so many people who can help you along your journey. Listen to the coaches and experts you hire to help you! Deflecting good advice will not help you get where you want to go.
- Get Honest. Positivity is a HUGE asset when you’re working toward something, but when we spin everything so positively that we don’t confront our short-comings, we won’t improve. Let yourself see the “grit” of what you need to work on and don’t take it personally. Failure can be our best teacher.
Have you ever let the illusion of “progress” stop you from doing the work you really need to do? Tell me about it in the comments!