by Liz Clark | Jan 5, 2016 | Personal Development
Sometimes (particularly after streaming a historical/period movie or series on my flat screen TV from the coziness of my warm couch), I daydream about how much better life must have been in the “good old days.” You know, those good old days before we had to worry about work at the speed of light, a thousand daily distractions and parent-guilt? The simpler times when we grew our own food, we rallied together when we were in crisis and had perfect hair all the time? Ok, that last part might be Hollywood. The rest must be true, right? I am as guilty as the next person as romanticizing the “good old days,” pining away for a simpler time. Or maybe, for you, the future is your daydream of choice: a bright and shiny day when things are finally humming, when technology stops creating problems as fast is it solves them, when everyone gets along and you finally feel fulfillment from your work and life. The truth is, at any given point in history or the future – things aren’t perfect. By only imagining the good stuff, we create a version of the past or the future that makes for great fiction, but it simply isn’t real. What’s more, measuring our current lives against that fantasy isn’t fair. For every romanticized ending, there were an untold number of struggles we simply didn’t see or don’t appreciate because we haven’t lived through them. What’s real is your right now. You may be facing problems, but you will get through them. Life may not be what you expected it to be, but you’re not done with life yet. What matters is whether or not you are...
by Liz Clark | Nov 9, 2015 | Business Matters, Personal Development
No matter how much you’ve actually accomplished in life, there is no test quite so unnerving as responding to the simple question: “So, what do you do?” This is a simple pleasantry, a social platitude, really. It’s an efficient way to “get to know” someone better. But, implied in this question is a measurement of sorts — of your professional, financial and even social standing. We can bring a lot of anxiety into the process of answering: What if I don’t meet the expectations of the person asking? What if I’m not interesting enough? What if I’m not important enough? What if I’m not good enough? Too often we give an underwhelming response or we feel so insecure, we underplay what we can bring to the conversation. But, here’s the big secret: The person asking probably doesn’t care 10% as much as you do about how you answer. The person asking you this question is most likely just being polite while, deep down, trying to figure out 1 of 2 things: Whether or not you can advance them in some way. How long until you’re done talking so they can get back to talking about themselves. Instead of feeling anxious or inadequate about your answer, become a master conversationalist by giving the asker what he/she really wants – the opportunity to continue focusing on themselves. Here’s my #1 tip to wiggle out of the anxiety-inducing small talk cycle: Answer quickly with something low-key and respond, “And, what do you do?” All attention about the specifics of “what you do” will be forgotten – no anxiety or feelings of inadequacy needed! But, wait – being forgotten isn’t the goal,...
by Liz Clark | Oct 19, 2015 | Personal Development
“Can someone please explain why there’s a broken plate behind the toilet?” We can safely add this to the list of questions I never thought I’d ask. As a busy wife, mom of 4 kids, and business owner, sometimes little things slip between the cracks. Little things like cleaning the extra bathroom. When I finally did get around to it, I found the shattered remains of a salad plate under the toilet. After some professional mom interrogating, I discovered that one of my kids thought it would make a nice base for a candle. When it inevitably fell and broke, said child swept it behind the toilet because he “couldn’t find the dust pan” and forgot it was there. Isn’t life a lot like this sometimes? Things are going well and then – BAM – things get messy. Maybe: Things don’t go as planned. Someone isn’t on board. Someone lets us down. We miss the mark. Emotional messes. Unresolved conflict. Disappointments. We have messes at home, messes at work, messes with friends and family. At first, it doesn’t seem like too much to handle. We deal with it as best we can and move on. But, after a while, we get tired of dealing with messes. We don’t want to take the time to find the dust pan – there’s too much other stuff to do! We need to live in the moment, people! So, we stop cleaning up messes and just sweep things up as best we can, pushing a pile of dirt behind the figurative “toilet” in our soul and moving on. Eventually, we run out of places...
