by Liz Clark | Nov 9, 2015 | Business Matters, Personal Development
No matter how much you’ve actually accomplished in life, there is no test quite so unnerving as responding to the simple question: “So, what do you do?” This is a simple pleasantry, a social platitude, really. It’s an efficient way to “get to know” someone better. But, implied in this question is a measurement of sorts — of your professional, financial and even social standing. We can bring a lot of anxiety into the process of answering: What if I don’t meet the expectations of the person asking? What if I’m not interesting enough? What if I’m not important enough? What if I’m not good enough? Too often we give an underwhelming response or we feel so insecure, we underplay what we can bring to the conversation. But, here’s the big secret: The person asking probably doesn’t care 10% as much as you do about how you answer. The person asking you this question is most likely just being polite while, deep down, trying to figure out 1 of 2 things: Whether or not you can advance them in some way. How long until you’re done talking so they can get back to talking about themselves. Instead of feeling anxious or inadequate about your answer, become a master conversationalist by giving the asker what he/she really wants – the opportunity to continue focusing on themselves. Here’s my #1 tip to wiggle out of the anxiety-inducing small talk cycle: Answer quickly with something low-key and respond, “And, what do you do?” All attention about the specifics of “what you do” will be forgotten – no anxiety or feelings of inadequacy needed! But, wait – being forgotten isn’t the goal,...
by Liz Clark | Nov 2, 2015 | Uncategorized
November is here! It’s sure to be full of everything we’ve come to know and love about the month: even more pumpkin culturally irrelevant graphic and interior design (does anyone actually relate to cornucopias?) The BEST HOLIDAY (Thanksgiving!) Facebook feeds and blogs overrun with “gratitude” and “thankfulness” posts. The driving idea behind these posts are absolutely wonderful. Many of us do get caught up in our relatively small troubles and forget to “count our blessings.” I’ve spent more than 25 years looking for the positive things for which to be thankful, even in some pretty awful circumstances. One example comes to mind. In 2008, my husband was deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Our four kids ranged between the ages of 2 and 8 that year. I was working full time. It was an incredibly stressful year. The kids missed their dad (as did I) and sometimes the smallest, most mundane thing would become the catalyst for a meltdown (for them or me). One day, in a moment of total frustration and exhaustion, I asked (maybe ordered?) them to tell me things they were thankful for. That went over like a lead balloon and resulted in that wide-eyed “uh-oh-Mom’s-upset-about-something” stare. I took a deep breath, apologized for my anger and said something to the effect of: “Can you just tell me at least one positive thing? Let’s make it a game. Finish the sentence: ‘At least _____.’ I’ll go first, “At least it’s not raining!” And so was born the Clark Family “At Least Game.” My sniffling kids all took...
